ONE hot summer’s day a Fox was strolling through an orchard till he came to a bunch of Grapes just ripening on a vine which had been trained over a lofty branch. “Just the things to quench my thirst,” quoth he. Drawing back a few paces, he took a run and a jump, and just missed the bunch. Turning round again with a One, Two, Three, he jumped up, but with no greater success. Again and again he tried after the tempting morsel, but at last had to give it up, and walked away with his nose in the air, saying: “I am sure they are sour.”

--Aesop, 6th Century BC

In the case of John McCain, the alternative to the tasty snack is public financing. If his "grapes" are indeed sour, they make for another fine w(h)ine from the campaign that can't shoot straight.

Did anyone, anywhere, pay a lick of attention to the "very big" news that Barack Obama has decided to make history and opt out of public financing for the fall campaign?

I've been sitting here watching big league a-hole Bill Bennett on CNN make a big deal out of how Obama flip-flopped and made a big mistake by this.

Huh?

Let's see, either he gets 80 plus million dollars of taxpayer money shoved his way (McCain will take his share, by golly) or he says "no thank you, I'll only take the money taxpayers give me directly, and I still won't take PAC money." Hmmm, seems like that wouldn't be a hard choice for taxpayers to decide. How many of them really want to pay for the election anyway? Hey, and at least Obama didn't take any money from a whacked-out billionaire in Texas with a humor problem.

Hell, even right-winger Norm Ornstein, one of the architects of McCain-Feingold thought Obama's move was the right one. He even told reporters he'd have sued Obama for political malpractice if Obama had opted for public financing.

So, as the nation remains transfixed by Michelle Obama's "softer image" on The View and Cindy McCain's pirated cookie recipe, why would they listen to grampy McCain moan about something that just sounds like a whole lot of sour grapes? He'll have to take the public funding because he won't be able to raise his own warchest, and now he just can't compete with the Obama campaign, which will likely continue gathering those 20 through $100 contributions like falling rain. Yes, indeed, even McCain's lieutenants had to admit that their opponent would "outspend us" in many states. That sounds so familiar...didn't we just hear that complaint from another opponent in the primaries? Didn't work then, either.

###

Back to watching the aforementioned CNN (and a segue into some stream-of-consciousness writing - apologies) - by the way, Cindy McCain is still full of shit, and was born with a platinum spoon in her mouth, while Michelle Obama came from the Windy City's South Side, and worked her way up by dint of intelligence and hard work. Cindy's family sold lots of beer. We're sick of hearing from her. She says she always supports "service to our country" but we don't think she ever wore the uniform like her husband did...again, we'd be very happy to hear less of her ranting, and see more of her purloined recipes online.

Bill Bennett? He still has that big hypocrisy problem in our eyes -- Mr. "Book of Virtues" who blew a massive wad of change on the slots at Atlantic City. At least he didn't have the gall to write about the sins of gambling, but we find him a questionable source to ask about funding of ANY kind, much less of the public kind. Jim Carville at least seemed like he was trying to walk the line on Anderson Cooper's little joke of a program. We still think "Anderson Cooper 360"sounds like code for "Anderson Cooper can sit and spin."

So why write so much about those two? Because NOBODY CARES that Barack Obama won't take your tax money, and also won't take PAC and other monies! People just don't care, and even if they did, they'd probably be happy about this one. Besides, Obama is right when he says the system is broken (Sorry Russ Feingold, we know you were disappointed by the news, but it's true and even you had to admit it's time for another overhaul) and that Republicans have been gaming the system for many years and have used outside groups like the "swiftboat" crews to do their dirty work. (uh, pay no attention to that moveon.org behind the curtain, move along now...)

In short, we just find that a) CNN will do anything to drum up a story...b) CNN is so set on being the bastard child of MSNBC and Fox when it comes to politics that it's given up on actual reporting, and c) Numbskull ideas coming from the McCain campaign just won't work. Yep, he's the second coming of Grampy Dole allright.

Wonder how long before he signs on with Viagra and agrees to sell Doritos. No more CNN tonight. Colbert had Cookie Monster on as a guest, and we still want to know if the mangy muppet will eat Colbert's new Peabody Award.

Jeez, we've gotta swear off cable television sometime soon. Does anyone know if MSNBC's week long festival of Tim Russert's death has met its own untimely demise? We miss countdown, and even a little Hardball.

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